Dylan had a fundraiser luncheon today for his upcoming mission to an orphanage in Mexico. I had already eaten lunch (donated tostadas from La Hacienda . . . yum!) and was getting ready to leave when I ran into a woman/friend that I rarely see. We spoke for just a couple of minutes when she told me how excited she was for me.
What? I cried myself to sleep last night, lady! Whatchoo talkin' bout?
I had simply told her that I was really, really needing a job and that I had a few applications out for a few different positions. And her response was enthusiastic excitement! She said, point blank . . . "I am so excited to see what God does and where he places you!" and reassured me that "God would fill the places between my resumé and a job offer with FAITH and HIS WILL"
Hmmm. Well that's a different idea that the "woe is me" approach that has been drowning me in depression and angst of late.
image from http://booklovers1.wordpress.com/category/bible-verses-of-inspiration/ Of course, if it were an orginal image of MY feet, I would still be sporting a walking cast and crutch . . . but we're focusing on the future, hope and healing!
So today, amidst a high school ministry fundraiser and shuffling our children between church and basketball awards and pizza parties and church and friends and laundry and rain . . . I finally felt reassured. Now mind you, reassurance doesn't add $$$ to my bank account, but, it sure feels better than the hopelessness that I have become accustomed to of late.
Maybe, just maybe . . . the cloud is lifting. Please, thank you and amen!
Wearing: pink polka dot pajama pants, a tank top that I’ve (possibly) worn for two days and a big, slouchy cardigan
Eating: A yummy romaine, chicken, strawberry and pecan salad
Thinking about: the coming month
Wanting: peace, connection, to be skinny and an extra few grand in our bank accounts
Thankful for: health, family, community and grace
Excited about: continued healing in my ankle/foot rehabilitation. I’m still a long ways from walking on my own two feet without some help, but I CAN walk in my walking cast, sometimes even without a crutch!
Watching: Parenthood. It was an awesome episode this week! Well worth the looooong wait! And at this exact moment? This amuses me , , , “Here I stand . . . saggy boobs and all!”
Wishing: that it would be easier for all of us . . . just for a little while
Drinking: Criss Cross Meritage. I love and greatly appreciate the 5 cent sale at BevMo and all the wines that I try because of it!
Hoping: for a good night’s sleep and a job offer
Wondering: where God wants me to grow my career and why He won’t just put me there right NOW?
Loving: The shared photostream that Lauren and Bobby linked me to that allows me to feel connected to sweet baby G. Even if it sometimes makes me want to just jump in the car and drive down to Turlock and love on that girl and her most-precious Mama!
And that means that I have a very happy little girl! Which means, that by default, my week just got a lot easier!
Dinner can now be popcorn and Girl Scout cookies.
I can now sit down. SIT DOWN! And relax for 1.5 hours.
Yes, Dylan still has basketball tryouts (AAU) at 7:00 tonight and Halle still needs to write a few journal entries (that are due tomorrow) but 5-6:30 just became my golden hour. And if you have kids? You'll know how rare that really is.
With that? I'm off to enjoy my remaining 1 hour and 20 minutes!
Dylan? Still a great kid. Playing basketball. Playing church dodgeball like a 1980's swanky PE teacher! He's working hard at school. Currently away at youth group winter retreat. I miss him. I'm a big baby like that.
Halle? Still hilarious, sparky and smart. Currently down with the plague. Laying next to me, sweating through Motrin and Tylenol. Coughing through her cough syrup. Last night she coughed so hard that she threw up and woke up at 4:00 am. And was thereby done sleeping for the day.
John? Working a lot. Do all teachers put this much prep time into their courses? If so, kudos to you and your students! And my sympathies to your families!
So with that, I leave you with a random photo assortment from the last week.
^^^ from top to botton, left to right . . .
Our RLG (Real Life Group), i.e., "small group" from church is such an amazing parrt of our lives. They showed up on Thursday night to watch and cheer on Dylan's basketball game. Love that real life love.
Halle and I did the coolest fabric/glue resistant art project. So fun and it turned out great!
Bub at basketball.
Bub at dodgeball.
Halle's pig mask.
Football playoffs. Youth Pastor in the house!
Team Scotty. It's been a year since the Harrington's lost their Scotty. Inimaginable.
Gummy bears in my lap. At 9:00 am.
Coaches' jackets before our big game vs PV last week. Nice looking jackets . . . crappy score :-(
delivery should be available everywhere! Grocery stores, restaurants, Target, elementary schools . . . basically anywhere that I need to get out of the car to get something? I would be willing to pay a (reasonable) fee to have them bring it to me!
This is what it takes for me to get out and do anything . . .
1. Getting dressed. This is a big deal when one of your legs in encased in a giant cast! I have actually gotten stuck in a pair of jeans since my surgery. There's no humility like having to ask someone to help you get unstuck from your pants. Seriously. There were scissors involved!
2. Collecting my purse/phone/keys, etc. This is not simple when you have to scoot your way around the house!
3. Getting to the car. Do you know that every single entrance to our house involves stairs? Yep. We live on a hill. So I have to scoot to the back door. Pray that someone is home and can carry my scooter down the stairs for me. THEN I SCOOT DOWN THE STAIRS ON MY BUTT. Yep. For reals. Then scoot to the car. Put the scooter IN the car. Hop back to the drvier's door and hop into the car. Sigh. Ah.
4. Driving is fairly easy. It's my left foot that is the bad one, so it just lays there.
5. When I arrive and need to get out? I have to hop to the back of the car, open the hatch, get the scooter out and set up . . . all while balanced on one (good) leg!
All that . . . just to get some bread or fruit at the store? Nope. Not happening. My children may well remember this time as those weeks without fresh fruit. Fortunately, John is around for most of this time and makes sure that our children aren't getting scurvy.
Grocery delivery, curbside take-out . . . seriously, people . . . we need more of that! Until then, I'll just be sitting here, with my leg up, eating ice cream and frosting. Seriously? Have you tried this? I always thought it was the cake and ice cream that made the combo so delectable, but once you've eaten your way through all the cake in the house and you're down to just frosting? It's not bad! In fact, I almost prefer it!
and what I've learned since the big ankle/foot reconstruction:
1. Pain meds don't make me sleepy.
2. Pain meds give me seriously whacked out dreams!
3. With my addictive family history, I was a little fearful about being on hardcore pain meds, i.e., Oxycotin, Norco, etc. Seems that fear was unwarranted. I never felt buzzed or high or even happy while on them! No desire to keep taking those bad boys, that's for sure!
4. Now that I am no longer needing pain meds? Time is moving very slowly. Verrrrrryyyyyy. Slooooooowwwwwlllllyyyy.
5. Percocet made me itch like a mo-fo!
6. While my knee scooter is amazing when compared to being on crutches or using my damn walker? It's really lost it's novelty in the last three weeks!
7. When Mama has a hard time moving about the house? The house goes to sh*t, very, very quickly!
8. It is very irritating to be so limited.
9. While I'm beyond bored and irritated? I am exceedingly grateful that this is temporary. 6-8 weeks is a long time, but it's far from forever!
10. There is something about BONE pain that sucks beyond measure and the feeling of your bones knitting back together and/or hitting the metal now in your body? Ugh! Makes me want to throw-up, just thinking about it!
11. As bored as I am? I still cannot get into Dr. Who. It's too weird. I tried and tried, but I'm not feeling it! Much to my son's chagrin!
12. I love to read. Always have, always will . . . so why can't a book keep my stinking interest right now?
13. When my foot gets so swollen that I think it might burst? I get little blister-like bulges on each toe that fill with even more fluid. Gross!
14. Even though I didn't like the pain meds? I begged and cried for the doctor to give me more Dialudid at my post-op appointment . . . because it was the only thing that really worked during those first ten days. Wisely, he refused to give me any more . . . just (ha!) Oxycotin and Norco for me!
15. I have amazing friends. Friends who drive my kids places, bring us food, pick up groceries, listen to me complain, are understanding when I forget everything . . .
16. Speaking of . . . forgetting, that is . . . I have seriously forgotten most of what occurred between December 18 and about the 30th. Conversations, occurrences, visits with friends, what we got our children for Christmas . . . it's pretty sucky!
17. It is totally possible to get stuck in your jeans when you have a big 'ole cast on your leg! I had to cut myself out of one pair! They stretch more going on than they do coming off, that's for sure!
18. I have really considered starting a company that sells clothing for people in casts. I don't think it would really work, but seriously . . . pajama bottoms barely fit over this bad boy!
19. I took my 97- year-old Gram to her doctor's appointment the other day. I had to use my walker because no one was home to help me get my scooter down the stairs. So help me, SHE LAPPED ME WALKING BACK TO THE EXAM ROOM! With her cane and 97-year-old legs! She absolutely left me in the dust. She even held the door for me on the way out! Talk about feeling like an idiot!
20. Sleeping with your leg elevated? Is lame. Not comfortable at all.
21. You cannot do anything quietly while on a squeaky scooter. Nope. I wake up John when I get up to pee. I wake up Halle if I scoot down the hallway. I wake up the dog if I think about moving at all!
22. Lastly . . . I am now the not-so-proud owner of a Franken-foot. I'm kind of freaking out about how scary looking it is! Vain, I know, but man I hope it heals up and looks a little less terrifying at some point!
And with that, I am going to bed. To sleep with my elevated foot up on my wedge. But first I will scoot my squeeky scooter to the bathroom and try to not wake anyone up on my way!
Sometimes I miss using a paper calendar. One of the main reasons? Is the feeling of opening that brand new, clean-as-a-whistle BLANK slate. With an electronic calendar (we use and love Cozi), we don't have that. Our repetitive schedules don't stop appearing on December 31. Nope. They just keep on going and showing us where we need to be and when. Which is a good thing, for many reasons. But I still miss that idea of a blank slate, darn it!
As far as resolutions go, I don't feel overly compelled to make any. If pushed, I would say that I want to get healthier (duh), be more connected with my family and friends, find a job that at least slightly speaks to my gifts and abilities; and lastly, to get super-smart about money . . . do better with saving more, living on less, investing with more wisdom and feeling better about how we (John and I) do with our resources, all while teaching our kids about it!
And then of course, for anyone who has ever dabbled around the scrapbooking world, there is the "one word" concept. Last year, my word was content. HA! About two minutes after I adopted that word as my 2013 word, our lives pretty much went to hell-in-a-handbasket! I mean seriously . . . deployment, job-loss, emergency room visits, hospital admissions, my dearest Auntie's lung cancer diagnosis, far too many funeral attended, surgeries, depression . . . and my word was content? I should have just picked survival and been done with it!
So I'm not going to go and get a necklace made of it or carve it into some virgin Brazilian wood plaque, but I could center on healing. On recovering. On restoring. All of which speak and commit action on my part. All require my heart to soften, my lungs to take a deep influx of air and for my feet (once the cast is removed) to move forward. In my most hopeful of thoughts restoration would be my word . . . my focus . . . my hope. Even my prayer. Except, and this trips me up; restoration is the idea of bringing something back to it's original form. And I want more than that. I want healing and recovering and restoring and then something more! I want the upgraded version of restoration! I want the dings and chips buffed out, and then some fancy rims put on! So my prayer becomes more about allowing God to work in me, to bring out the best in me. Last year was all about stripping away the exterior of me. Now we're down to the heart of the matter . . . the heart of me. And the rebuilding and restrengthening and the new margins added to who I am. And who I can become.
to our most amazing son, Dylan! I simply cannot fathom that my man-boy is 15. 1 year away from legally driving. 2 years away from the all-mighty challenging junior year of high school. 3 years away from gaining his right to vote and graduate from high school and to be actually considered an adult. Only. Three. More. Years.
Dylan, you are the most amazing boy I have ever met. You are faithful and loyal. You are funny. You are incredibly smart. You are wise beyond your years. You are such a good friend to others. You are compassionate and kind. You work hard. You love God and seek to deepen your spiritual relationship with Him daily. You are walking the talk . . . even though it hasn't always been easy . . . even as you have undergone more trials in this last year than most adults could endure . . . you are still here. Thanks be to God. Standing. Breathing. Trying. Playing. Practicing. Studying. Laughing.
And I thank God every day for that gift. The gift of you. Just as you are.
I hope and pray that this year will fulfill you. Redeem you. Give you hope. Allow you to breathe deeply. Give you joy and exaltation and fun and delight. And to bless you. Each and every day.